Never Alone
by suchaphangirl
Summary: COMPLETED MPREG PHANFIC. This is probably my favorite mpreg phanfic I have ever written but it's sooo long. Summary: Ever since Phil was little, he wanted to go into the army and now he's older, he finally gets the chance. But he has to leave his pregnant boyfriend behind.
1. Chapter 1

"I wish you didn't have to leave," Dan Howell said as he watched his boyfriend as he stood in front of the mirror, fixing his hair. It was currently a Monday, around 5 o'clock.

Phil Lester was 24-years-old and was heading off to the army for four years. Phil had been wanting to do this for years now but never had the time to do it or the courage. He wanted to do it now before it was too late.

"Dan, you don't understand… this has been something I've wanted to do for years now," Phil said, sighing.

"I know that, but what about the baby? What am I supposed to do while you're gone?" Dan asked him. He was standing in the doorway with his arms crossed against his chest, staring at Phil with watery eyes.

Phil looked over at him and frowned when he saw the look on his face. "You're not going to be alone, Dan. Chris and PJ offered to help while I'm gone. PJ's going to stay with you when you get a little bigger because I know it won't be easy for you in a couple of months," he said.

"I don't want PJ to stay with me! I want you to stay!" Dan yelled angrily.

"Dan!" Phil shouted at him. He sighed in frustration and shook his head. He looked over at Dan again and took a deep breath. Phil finally walked over to him. He went to take Dan's hand but Dan quickly pushed him away before he could. Dan went to walk away from him but Phil quickly reached over and grabbed Dan gently before he could walk away, and pulled him closer to him. "Dan, I know you're upset with me for leaving you but this is our last moment together for a long time… I don't want to leave like this," Phil whispered.

Dan looked up at Phil as a few tears fell out of his eyes. "I can't raise this baby on my own," he said quietly.

A couple weeks ago… Dan had begun getting sick; everything from morning sickness to horrible headaches and stomach aches. It was actually quite random that Dan had started getting sick like that. Sure, he's been sick before in his life time but never like this. It was worrying him so Phil immediately took Dan to the hospital to get him checked out and make sure that everything was okay. Dan and Phil stayed at the hospital for hours before they finally found out that Dan was actually pregnant. Dan had no idea that he was a carrier. He had heard of them before but he never thought himself would be one. It was shocking to him, knowing that he was capable of giving birth to a child. He was also scared and nervous. There had been so many mixed emotions in him after finding out that he was pregnant but luckily the doctor had explained everything to him… which calmed him down slightly.

Dan was now two months pregnant and would be giving birth to his and Phil's child in seven months. Dan had immediately talked to Phil about everything and decided that he wanted to keep the baby. He knew that it was a miracle that he could have children and that they wouldn't have to adopt. Dan was excited to have this baby… so excited that he had already started thinking of names even though he had no idea what the gender was yet.

Phil was glad that Dan was now excited about having the baby and starting a family; and he was glad that he was putting so much effort into the baby in making sure that it was healthy. But now, Phil was leaving and he wouldn't be able to see Dan for four years straight. It killed him knowing that he was going to miss the birth of his baby but this was something that he had been wanting to do for years and he was going to do it.

"Dan, it kills me to think about this but we're going to be apart for four years. That's a long time. I would totally be okay if you wanted to find someone else to be with. Do whatever you need to do to be happy," Phil told him.

"Are you… Are you fucking crazy, Phil? There's no way in hell would I ever want to be with somebody else that wasn't you. Sure, four years is a really long time but I don't care how long you're away for… I would never cheat on you, no matter how lonely I get. You know that I'll wait as long as I have to wait for to be with you again, and that's a promise…" Dan told him. He took a deep breath as he stared at Dan.

Phil couldn't help but smile but a part of him deep down inside was still worried that Dan would find someone new while he was away. Phil was terrified that when he came home, Dan would be with someone else. "Dan, you are strong enough to do this. Remember what we talked about the other day?" Phil asked.

"I remember. I promised that I wouldn't stay stuck inside this apartment while you're away. I will try my absolute best not to be stuck in here but it will be very hard for me, you know that. I'll need a few months to get over the fact that you'll be away for four years. You've helped me through so much in my life and we've been through a lot together ever since I was 16-years-old. That's a long time to spend with someone," Dan said.

"I know, but luckily we'll be able to send letters to each other so we'll keep in contact," Phil assured him.

Dan took a deep breath and slowly nodded. "If there's one thing good about this whole thing… it's that you look fucking hot in a uniform," he whispered. He looked up at Phil and smiled slightly.

"Thanks love," Phil said. He leaned down and pressed his lips against Dan's and kissed him lightly. "Are you sure you don't want to come to the train station with me?" He asked.

"I really want to go with you to say goodbye, but I would rather not cry in front of a bunch of strangers when you leave. I can do that here all by myself," Dan said. He sighed.

"Oh, Dan…" Phil kissed him again, "I promise I'll be back before you know! Take care of yourself and the little one while I'm away. I can't wait to meet our baby when I get back," he said.

"Don't worry. I promise I'll take care of our baby," Dan said.

"God damnit, I'm going to miss you so much," Phil whispered. He pulled Dan closer and kissed him.

"I know it sounds like I'm angry with you but I'm not. I'm just going to miss you a lot. I really am proud of you for doing something you want to do. You're going to do great in the army," Dan took a deep breath. "You better get going. I don't want to make you late for your train," he said.

"I love you so much, just remember that" Phil whispered. He kissed Dan one last time before he reached down and grabbed his little black bag that was lying on the floor. Phil looked at Dan one last time, "take care of yourself." Phil said before he finally turned around and then he finally left.

Dan took a deep breath as he closed his eyes. He wasn't going to cry. He had promised Phil before-hand that he wasn't going to cry when he left and he was going to keep that promise, no matter how hard it was going to be for him. He was going to be strong for Phil. He needed to strong for Phil and for their baby.

Dan re-opened his eyes after a few seconds and then he looked down at his stomach, resting his hand on his bump. "Looks like it's just going to be you and me, kiddo," he whispered.

A couple months have slowly passed by since Phil had left for the army. Dan and Phil has kept in contact with each other ever since he left. Phil has already sent Dan three letters while Dan only sent him one that contained pictures of how big his bump was getting. It was very hard for Dan to write back to Phil. At least Dan knew that Phil was still safe and that he was still alive. That was the only thing that Dan had to worry about.

Now Dan was seven months into his pregnancy. He was doing okay for the most part but now his bump was getting much bigger from when Phil left. It was getting harder for Dan to go outside as he always got recognized by one of his Youtube subscribers. Anyone could see Dan's bump and it was getting harder for him to hide it like he used to be able to. So, with Phil's permission, of course… Dan made a video explaining about how he was pregnant and that he was in a relationship with Phil, which they had kept a secret from the internet for about three years. It was hard for Dan to sit down and talk about all these things by himself. He always had Phil by his side. But luckily, ninety percent of their subscribers were being surprisingly supportive and thought it was cute that they were having a baby together. But, of course, Dan had lost a lot of subscribers and was getting hate from people who thought it was wrong that a male was pregnant, which hurt Dan but he learned to ignore it.

PJ had been living with Dan for about two weeks now and was helping him whenever he needed help. Dan was very thankful to have PJ around at times like these because he knew that he would be able to do it alone. His bump was huge and was making it harder to navigate around his own apartment and his back was also starting to ache, which was making things more harder for him to cope with.

Meanwhile; it was a Saturday night when Dan was sitting on the couch in the lounge. He had been browsing on the internet all day but had started to get bored so now he was watching movies from his and Phil's DVD collection.

Dan sighed as he sat up in the couch; resting a hand on his stomach. It had been a couple of hours now since he had something to eat but now he was getting hungry again. Normally he would ask PJ to get him something but he knew that PJ was too busy filming for a video and he didn't want to bother him. Dan carefully pushed himself up from the couch and then he slowly made his way towards the kitchen.

"Fuck," Dan grumbled as he walked into the kitchen. He walked over to the fridge and opened it.

"Hey, what are you doing?" Dan jumped as soon as he heard PJ's voice.

"Don't scare me like that, Jesus Christ!" Dan hissed. He took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. So, what are you doing?" PJ asked again.

"I was hungry so I wanted to get some food," Dan said as he rested a hand on his stomach again.

"Come on, you know how I feel about you walking around. You need to rest as much as you can," PJ said.

"You were filming and I didn't want to bother you," Dan mumbled as he slammed the fridge shut, making PJ jump.

"Hey, what's the matter?" PJ asked curiously when he saw the look on Dan's face. PJ finally walked into the kitchen, walking closer to Dan. "Something's bothering you," he added.

"I just miss Phil being here, that's all," Dan whispered as his eyes began to water up.

"I know you miss Phil, we all miss him. But, you have to be strong," PJ told him.

"I'm trying! I really am!" Dan cried as a couple of tears fell out of his eyes. "I'm giving birth to our little boy in less than three months now and Phil won't be there with me to see it! I know you said that you would be there with me to support me and I appreciate that, I really do… but it's just not the same. I miss Phil so much and I want him to be there with me but there's nothing I can do about it," he said.

"Have you told Phil that it was going to be a boy?" PJ asked calmly.

"Not yet. I'm writing him a letter tomorrow to tell him," Dan said. He couldn't help but smile. Dan found out a couple of weeks ago that he and Phil were going to have a little boy and he couldn't be more excited about it. A boy is exactly what Dan wanted and Phil knew that. Dan couldn't wait to tell Phil about it.

"Go sit down. I'll fix you something to eat," PJ told Dan.

"Peej, it's not fair that you have to do every little thing for me," Dan said.

"I promised Phil that I would take care of you while he was gone, at least while you were pregnant. Besides, you're my best friend so I'm okay with helping you. I want to make sure that you're healthy and that the baby is healthy… even though it's not even my baby. But, it's Phil's baby too and Phil is my best friend as well," PJ assured him. He let out a sigh as he stared at Dan. PJ cared a lot about Dan and he could tell just by looking at him that he was exhausted and stressed out. He wished that there was something he could do to make Dan feel better… but he knew no matter what he did, nothing would work because Phil wasn't there and would be gone a long time.

"I know that I haven't said this enough but I really do appreciate everything you've done for me the past two weeks," Dan said. He smiled slightly as he looked up at PJ.

PJ shook his head and smiled. "You know I'll always be there for you and Phil if you need me," he promised.

Dan took a deep breath and nodded. "I'm going to go sit down now. My back is killing me," he said.

"Yes! Go sit down," PJ warned gently. He smiled as he watched Dan walk out of the kitchen. He pulled out his phone from his pocket and looked down, smiling when he saw that his boyfriend Chris was calling him. "Hey," PJ greeted when he answered his phone. He walked over to the fridge and opened it.

"Hey you," Chris replied after PJ answered the phone.

"Wow, it's been a while since I've spoken to you. What's going on?" PJ asked calmly as he scanned through the fridge, trying to find something that he could make for Dan.

"Mm, nothing much. I just missed you and wanted to talk to you," Chris told him.

PJ couldn't help but smile, and blushed slightly. He was thankful Chris couldn't see him blushing right now. "It feels like it's been ages since we've been together… I miss you," he said.

"When are you coming back? I miss you and your face," Chris said.

"I promised Phil that I would take care of Dan while he's pregnant so I'll be here until when he gives birth to the baby. Dan needs someone right now. He's got a lot going on," PJ said.

"I know you care about Dan and so do but… why did you have to agree to stay with him?" Chris whined.

"Chris… I know that you miss me and I miss you too, but it's like I said before… I promised Phil that I would look after Dan while he's pregnant and I'm going to keep that promise. It's not going to be permanent, it's just temporary so don't you worry, love. Hm, maybe I could come over to yours tomorrow for a couple of hours or something. I mean, I'm sure Dan will be fine on his own for a little while." PJ said.

"That would be absolutely amazing. I just need to see you," Chris said.

"I'll talk to Dan later and we'll work something out. But, come on Chris… you have to have sympathy for Dan. Phil's going to be away for four years and Dan's dealing with this pregnancy stuff all by himself, not to mention… Phil's going to miss their birth of their son. So, Dan's going through a lot right now. He needs someone," PJ said.

"I guess you are right. I do feel sorry for him," Chris said.

"Well, I have to go. We'll talk later. Dan's hungry and I need to fix him something," PJ told him.

"What are you? His personal slave now?" Chris asked.

"Chris!" PJ hissed with shock. "It's not like he's forcing me to do these things, I'm offering. I mean… you would do the same thing if you were here and saw what he was dealing with. He can barely walk around his own apartment now and things aren't going to get any easier for him," he said.

"Okay! Okay," Chris sighed in defeat. "Just let me know if you're planning on coming over later or not," he said.

"I'll call you later," PJ mumbled before he hung up on Chris.

After looking around in the kitchen for a while, PJ decided that he was just going to order pizza for Dan. He thought that it would make things easier especially as he wasn't in the mood to cook anything after the phone call he had just had with Chris. PJ missed Chris as much as Chris missed him. But, he just wished that Chris would understand that Dan was going through a lot right now. Dan needed someone to be there for him and PJ was going to help him and be there for him no matter what. PJ made a promise to Phil and he was going to keep that promise.

"So it looks like there isn't really anything to cook which means I'll have to go grocery shopping later. But, I ordered us a pizza so I hope that's okay?" PJ asked as he walked into the lounge, where Dan was sitting on the couch. PJ looked up and frowned when he saw the look on Dan's face. He could tell that Dan had been crying as his eyes were now red and puffy. "Dan, what's wrong?" PJ asked as he walked over to the couch and sat down next to him.

Dan shook his head as he quickly whipped away a tear that fell out of his eyes. "You know you don't have to stay here," he whispered. He didn't look at PJ as he spoke. He just stared at the TV.

"What are you talking about, Dan? I want to be here," PJ said.

"I know you made a promise to Phil but I can take care of myself," Dan snapped as he looked over at PJ.

"Where is all this coming from?" PJ asked with shock as he stared at Dan. PJ knew that Dan was upset but he hadn't heard him speak like this before since he started living here. It worried him.

"I heard you talking on the phone with Chris," Dan took a deep breath. PJ went to say something but Dan continued, "you're only staying here because you feel sorry for me. I don't need your sympathy PJ,"

"Okay, I will admit that I do feel sorry for you but that's honestly not why I want to stay here. I'm staying here because I honestly really do care about you and I want to make sure that you and the baby is okay and healthy. I know you said that you can take care of yourself but you can't do this all on your own. You need somebody and I want to be that somebody who helps take care of you," PJ said calmly.

"I appreciate that you want to help take care of my but you don't have to stay here 24/7, Peej. I will be fine on my own for a couple of days. Just go see Chris or something. You deserve a little break from here. You've done enough for me just in the past couple of weeks," Dan told him.

"Are you really sure, Dan?" PJ asked, biting his lip slightly.

"I'm positive. I may be stuck in this apartment but I don't want you to be stuck in this apartment as well because of me. I'll be fine, honestly." Dan took a deep breath as he looked away from PJ.

Dan wasn't fine, he was far from fine. But eventually, he knew he would be okay again.

It was finally the day that Dan was going to give birth to his and Phil's little baby boy. Dan was actually nervous but he was also very excited. His body was filled with mixed emotions. Dan just couldn't wait to give birth and have his baby in his arms. That's all he wanted. He wanted his little boy.

"Hey, where the hell are you? I'm at the hospital right now with Dan," PJ said to Phil on the phone.

It was a Tuesday night when PJ had taken Dan to the hospital. Dan was in the middle of giving birth right now. PJ wanted to be in there with Dan but the doctors wouldn't allow it, which was understandable to PJ. PJ was currently pacing back and forth in the waiting room while he was talking to Phil.

"I'm on my way into the hospital right now," Phil replied, his voice was shaky.

It had been a whole nine months since Phil had seen Dan properly, but luckily Phil was able to talk to his captain at the last minute and was able to get permission to fly back to London so he could be with Dan on the night of the birth. Phil had explained to his captain about Dan being pregnant and how it was very rare that a male was pregnant, it was a miracle really. Thankfully, Phil's captain understood the whole situation and was letting him fly back to London and was letting him stay for a couple of days so he could spend time with Dan and their son.

"Well, hurry up! Dan's giving birth right now. He's been in their for a couple hours already," PJ told him. He hung up on Phil before Phil could reply to him, and left the waiting room to wait for Phil. PJ looked up a few seconds later and smiled as soon as he saw Phil walking down the hallway, Phil was even wearing his uniform still. Phil looked completely different on the outside, PJ just hoped that he was still the same goofy Phil that he knew on the inside. "Fucking hell, Phil! You look so different without your hair!" PJ exclaimed as he threw his arms up.

Phil looked up as he was walking and took a deep breath as soon as he saw PJ standing there. Phil hadn't seen any of his family or friends in months, and he had missed them a lot. Even though he loved what he was doing, helping out in the army… he loved his family and friends a lot more. Phil had been through a lot in the past couple months.

"I missed you guys!" Phil exclaimed as he walked up to PJ and hugged him immediately.

"It's so good to see you again. I'm glad you're here and safe," PJ whispered as he hugged him back.

Phil's eyes began to water up as they continued to hug each other. It had been months since he had properly hugged someone that he loved and cared about. He was so thankful to be back home, even if it was just for a couple of days. He didn't really care how long it was that he was going to stay here. He was going to cherish every single day that he was here, being with Dan, before he had to go back.

"How is Dan doing? Is he okay?" Phil asked as he pulled away from the hug.

"I think he's doing okay. We've been here for a about two hours now. The doctors won't allow anybody to be with him which is totally understandable as I'm sure this is a complicated thing. We could be here for a couple more hours. I'm not sure how long this is going to take," PJ told him.

"I can't believe I'm actually here. I just can't wait to see him," Phil whispered.

"Jesus Christ, you look exhausted. Do you want to go sit down or something?" PJ asked.

"Okay," Phil mumbled, nodding. He nervously followed PJ into the waiting room. Phil was trying his best to keep calm about everything but he was freaking out on the inside. There was so much happening right now. Phil and PJ both walked over to the chairs and sat down next to each other.

PJ looked over at Phil and bit his lip nervously. "So, what's it like being in the army then?" He asked curiously.

"Um, it's absolutely crazy and way different than I ever thought it was going to be," Phil told him.

"Do you regret going there at all?" PJ asked him.

"No. I don't regret it. It's what I wanted to do for years now," Phil said. He took a deep breath.

"I'm just glad that you're safe and still alive," PJ said.

"Yeah, me to… a lot has happened the past nine months. I don't know how I've coped with everything," Phil whispered. He looked over at PJ as his eyes began to water up.

"Hey, don't cry," PJ said. He wrapped an arm around Phil and pulled him into a hug.

Phil immediately hugged him back. "Thank you Peej," he whispered.

"What are you thanking me for?" PJ asked when he pulled away from the hug.

"For being there for Dan when I couldn't be. It really means a lot," Phil said.

"No need to thank me. I made a promise, and I kept that promise," PJ said.

Phil couldn't help but smile, for what felt like the first time in months.

"Well, thank you anyways. I'm glad someone was there for him," Phil said.

"I honestly don't know how you put up with him. He's a handful," PJ said jokingly.

Phil couldn't help but laugh. "That's Dan for ya. So, how did Dan do while I was gone?" He asked.

"I mean, for the most part… he did really well. He put on his best game face the whole time, even when he wanted to break down and cry. I tried to get him out of the apartment as much as I could but up until about eh, six months... he stopped going out because his bump was huge and he was afraid of what people would say about all the weight that he had gained. Besides, he could barely walk around the apartment with that bump of his so I didn't really blame him for not going out. But yeah, he did pretty well," PJ told him.

"And what are people saying about the whole thing?" Phil asked nervously.

"Dan unfortunately did get a lot of hate after he posted the video. It was rough for him but thankfully the hate's dying down now so Dan isn't really bothered by it anymore. Ninety percent of his subscribers are actually very supportive of him… oh, and you guys. Everybody's thrilled about you and Dan dating." PJ said.

Phil took a deep breath and nodded. "As long as he's doing okay, that's all I care about. God, I can't believe it's been nine months since I've seen him. So much has happened since then," he whispered.

"He'll be happy to see you, trust me," PJ assured him.

"Um, Dan's not seeing anyone else… is he?" Phil asked nervously as he looked over at PJ again.

"I know I shouldn't have asked that, I just can't help myself. I can only be with Dan for three days before I have to go off again. After this, we'll be apart for nearly three years. That's a really long time. Who knows what will happen in that period of time? I sure as hell won't have any time for dating but Dan will be all by himself with the baby for three years. I know he loves me. I'm just afraid he'll get bored and tired of waiting. I don't want to come home to find that he'll be with someone else. That'll absolutely break my heart," Phil mumbled.

PJ frowned as he stared at Phil. "No way. Dan loves you with all his heart and he still does. He won't even look at another guy that isn't you. Dan doesn't care about anyone else but you," he whispered.

"Yeah, well… we'll see about that," Phil mumbled. He took a deep breath.

"Everything's going to be okay. That I can promise you," PJ said.

It's been a couple hours now since Phil had arrived at the hospital. Phil had no idea what was going on and the more he waited, the more he worried about him but he knew that he had to stay calm.

It was now around 6 o'clock in the morning. Both Phil and PJ were still in the waiting room. Phil had fallen asleep in a couple of the chairs. He hadn't gotten much sleep in the past couple of days and travelling so much didn't really help the situation either. PJ stayed awake though and promised to wake Phil up if he heard anything about Dan.

"PJ Liguori?" PJ immediately looked over when he heard a nurse call his name.

"That's me," PJ said. He reached over and shook Phil a few times.

Phil's eyes immediately opened when he felt someone shake him. He glanced up at PJ and then he looked over and quickly sat up as soon as he saw the nurse standing in front of them. "What's going on with Dan? Is he okay?" He asked nervously. His heart was pounding against his chest. He was nervous but also excited.

"Are you both here for Dan Howell?" The nurse asked.

"Yes. I'm his friend and Phil's his boyfriend," PJ told her.

"Is Dan okay?" Phil asked again as he stood up from his chair. He was getting impatient by this point. All he wanted to do was see his boyfriend and make sure that he was okay himself. He wanted to be there for him. But, most of all, Phil wanted to meet his baby boy. He wanted to spend as much time with him as he possibly could before he had to go back into the army again for three years.

"Yes, he is okay. Dan's a trooper, that's for sure," The nurse told him.

Phil couldn't help but smile proudly. "That's my boy," he said.

"Has Dan given birth to the baby yet?" Phil asked.

"Yes, he has given birth to the baby. You both have a beautiful and healthy baby boy," The nurse told him.

Phil sighed in relief. "Thank God. Well, can I see him now?" He asked.

"Of course but not for long as it's late and Dan needs to rest up. It's been a long night for him," she said.

Phil bit his lip nervously as he looked over at PJ. "Peej?" He asked.

"Go meet your son. Call me if you need me," PJ said, smiling.

Phil took a deep breath and nodded. He smiled and then he looked over at the nurse. He then followed the nurse to where Dan's room was. Phil took a deep breath as he walked up to Dan's hospital room. He was extremely nervous to see Dan and meet their baby. He didn't know what to expect at this point but he couldn't help but be excited as well. He was about to meet his son for the first time. This was an important moment for me.

"Good luck," The nurse said as she opened the door for Phil.

Phil nervously looked up and took a deep breath when he saw Dan sitting up in bed, with their son in his arms. He couldn't help but smile. It had been nine months Phil had seen Dan. But, the sight of Phil seeing Dan with their son made his heart melt. Phil was so thankful that he was able to come home to see this.

"Dan?" Phil asked quietly, as he didn't take his eyes away from him.

Dan looked up as soon as he heard the very familiar voice and was shocked as soon as he saw Phil standing there in front of him. Seeing Phil there was a complete shock to him and didn't know if this was a dream or not. "Phil…" He breathed. He took a deep breath, "oh my God! Your hair is all gone!" He exclaimed.

Phil couldn't help but laugh. He walked over to Dan. He leaned down and immediately gave him a kiss. He would have hugged him and never let him go but he couldn't as Dan was holding their little boy in his arms.

"I missed you so much," Dan whispered as his eyes began to water up. He looked up at Phil, "wait a minute… as happy I am to see you, what are you doing here?" He asked curiously.

"Well… I actually got the news from PJ a few days ago that you would be giving birth soon. I talked to my captain immediately about coming back to London for a few days and he actually let me to do it. I'm shocked that he let me leave but I'm so thankful. But, you know… there was no way I was going to miss the birth of my son." Phil said.

"I almost didn't recognize you with your hair all gone," Dan said.

"It'll take a while for me to get used to. It's been nine months and I still feel different but it'll grow back so don't worry," Phil assured him. He shrugged his shoulders. Phil then looked down at the baby resting in Dan's arms. He took a deep breath as he stared at his and Dan's son. Seeing him in person for the first time was almost like a dream to Phil. He couldn't believe that he actually had a son. He was actually a father. "So, this is our son then?"

"Yeah, this is our son," Dan whispered. He looked down at the baby and smiled proudly.

"He's beautiful, and he looked just like you," Phil whispered as his eyes began to water up.

"He definitely has my features," Dan agreed. He sighed happily as he watched the baby sleep in his arms.

"Did you come up with a name for him, by the way?" Phil asked curiously.

"Actually… I did! What do you think of Emerson Eric Howell-Lester?" Dan asked as he looked up at Phil. "I searched online for hours and that's what I came up with. I liked it better than all the other names," he said.

"I love that name," Phil said as he bit his lip. It was taking everything in him not to cry in front of Dan.

Dan looked up at Phil again and frowned when he saw the look on his face. "Phil?" He asked quietly.

Phil looked away from him as a tear fell out of his eye but he quickly whipped it away.

"Don't cry," Dan told him. He had never seen Phil be emotional before and he didn't like it either.

"I can't help it… honestly," Phil told him. He took a deep breath as he looked back over at Dan, "I can't believe you gave birth to our son!" He exclaimed. "It's just crazy to me."

"Would you like to hold him?" Dan asked, smiling.

"Don't you want to hold him? I mean… you're the one who had to carry him around for nine months," Phil said.

"I've already been with him for about 15 minutes now. I want you to hold him and spend as much time with him as you can before you have to leave again," Dan told him. He glanced Dan at Emerson once before he carefully lifted him up and handed him to Phil. He smiled proudly as he watched Phil take their baby in his arms.

Phil took a deep breath as he took Emerson in his arms and held onto him carefully. He looked down and smiled as soon as Emerson's eyes opened. "Welcome to the world, little one," he whispered. Phil still couldn't believe that he actually had a son. He was a father to a beautiful baby boy. Phil had always wanted to be a father but never thought it would happen so soon; yet here his boyfriend had just given birth to their son and he was so thankful.

After Dan got a good few hours of sleep; he was told that he was finally allowed to go home. Dan felt like he had been at the hospital forever. He couldn't wait to go home to spend time with Phil and their baby.

"Wow, it feels so good to be back home," Phil said as he followed Dan into the apartment.

"Well, I'm glad to have you back home, we missed you a lot," Dan said as he looked back at Phil, smiling. Dan was holding their baby in his arms as Phil was behind him.

"I missed you too," Phil whispered. He reached over and kissed Dan gently on the lips.

"Let's take the little one upstairs, shall we?" Dan suggested.

"Lets, I just can't wait to relax and spend some time with my boys," Phil agreed. He reached over and shut the door behind them, locking it afterwards. He then followed Dan up the stairs. Phil had missed his home, that was for sure. Dan and Phil immediately went to the lounge and then they sat next to each other on the couch. Phil looked over at Emerson and smiled. "I can't believe he's still asleep. It's been a couple hours now at least."

"I think he's going to be one of those easy babies," Dan said.

"Well, let's hope," Phil said. He looked up at Dan and smiled.

"I'm really happy you're here," Dan whispered as he stared at Phil.

"I'm happy I'm here too, even if it is just for a few days," Phil whispered.

"At least you get to spend time with your son, while he's still a baby," Dan said.

"And I get to spend time with my boyfriend," Phil said. He leaned forward and kissed Dan again.

Dan giggled as he kissed Dan back. "Can we cuddle for a little bit?" He asked.

"We can cuddle as long as you want," Phil told him.

Dan smiled. He scooted back, while still carefully holding onto Emerson, and smiled as Phil wrapped his arms around him. Phil pulled Dan closer to him as he kept his arms around him.

"It's been nine months since I've had a cuddle from you," Phil said.

"And now you get to have two cuddles," Dan said.

"Can I hold him?" Phil asked, biting his lip.

"Of course you can," Dan said. He gently sat up and then he placed Emerson in Phil's arms. Dan smiled as he watched Phil hold Emerson for a few seconds before he cuddled up against Phil's chest. He sighed happily as he kept put in Phil's arms, while watching his little baby boy sleep peacefully in his boyfriends arms.

Three days later; Phil was unfortunately leaving again to go back into the army.

After spending some quality time with Dan and his newborn son, he almost didn't want to leave. He didn't want to go back. He wanted to stay here with Dan and help raise their son. But, it was Dan who had convinced Phil that he should go back and finish what he started. Dan and Phil had a long talk about it.

It was bright and early, … on a Friday morning. Dan was again, saying goodbye to Phil. He was holding Emerson in his arms as Phil was leaving. Dan was going to absolutely miss Phil, but he knew that Phil should go.

"Promise to send me pictures of Emerson as much as you can?" Phil asked as he and Dan walked to the front door.

"I promise I will. I'll try my absolute best to write more than I did last time, I really will…I feel horrible that I didn't write to you as much as you wrote to me. I will try to write more," Dan promised.

Phil turned around and then he looked at Dan again, taking a deep breath. "Are you absolutely sure that you want me to go? I can back out and stay home if you want me to," he said.

"What? Of course I don't want you to go Phil. I'd much rather have you stay home, where you're safe and sound, and help me raise Emerson. But, you need to go back and finish what you started. We're not going to be apart forever. It's like you told me before… these next three years will fly by and we'll be together again. Then we can raise our family together," Dan told him. He took a deep breath.

"I guess you're right. I'll just miss you and Emerson so much," Phil said.

"I know," Dan whispered as his eyes began to water up.

Phil looked up at Dan again and shook his head. "Don't you start crying, you'll make me cry!" He warned gently.

"Give me a kiss," Dan whispered as he stared at Phil.

Phil smiled. He immediately leaned closer and pressed his lips against Dan's and kissed him with all the passion that he had in him. Dan and Phil stood there for a few minutes, just kissing, before Phil finally pulled away.

"Take care of our little boy," Phil whispered as he stared at Dan.

"Don't worry. He's in good hands," Dan told him.

"Oh, I know he is," Phil said. He wrapped his arms around Dan and hugged him tightly yet gently. He looked down at Emerson once the hug ended again as he kept his arms around Dan still. "God, he's so adorable," Phil sighed as he stared at him. He then leaned down and pressed a kiss on Emerson's forehead.

"Don't worry, Phil. We'll both be here when you get back," Dan promised.

Phil let go of Dan and immediately looked at him again. "You promise?" He asked quietly.

"I promise. We're not going anywhere. We're going to wait for you," Dan said.

"These three years will fly by and we'll be together again…" Phil sighed and shook his head, "okay, I really have to get going now. I'll miss you so much," he said. He kissed Dan one last time. He reached over and opened the door.

"Go kick some army ass," Dan said, smiling as he watched Phil.

"I love you, Dan," Phil said. He grabbed his bag and then he walked out the door for the last time.

Dan took a deep breath as he stood there by himself. "I love you too, Phil," he bit his lip nervously as he looked down at Emerson and smiled at the same time as his eyes began to water up. "Looks like it's just you and me kiddo… again." Dan whispered. Even though he knew that Emerson wouldn't understand what he was saying. He couldn't help but smile proudly as he watched his son sleep in his arms. At least he wouldn't completely be alone.

Dan definitely wouldn't be alone. He had Emerson for now. He would never be alone anymore.


	2. Chapter 2

"God damnit. Emerson! Get your butt in here right now!" Dan Howell yelled from the lounge. He sighed as he reached over and grabbed his son's shoes from the floor and then he sat down on the couch. "Can't I just have one day go right?" Dan mumbled.

Today was kind of a hectic day as today was finally the day that Dan was going to be reunited with his boyfriend again. It's been over three years, nearly four…. since they had seen each other. Phil had been in the army for the past four years. It was something Phil had wanted to do for years now and Dan supported that, even though it was extremely hard for him to be alone with their son, who he had given birth to three years ago.

Emerson was nearly four years old now. He had grown up quicker than Dan thought he would and Dan didn't like it, especially now because Emerson was at that age where he didn't like to do as he was told. Dan loved Emerson to bits and pieces, but sometimes he was stressful. That's why Dan was very excited to have Phil come home. It was hard being a single parent. Dan had been writing Phil and letting him know what was going on back home.

Dan looked up and sighed as he watched Emerson run into the lounge, giggling as he did so. Dan reached over and grabbed him. He turned him so that they were facing each other so that he would finally have Emerson's attention.

"Emerson, stop for a God damn minute and look at me please…" He sighed in relief when Emerson did as he was told him, for once in a long time. "Today is a very important day, okay?" Dan told him, staring at him directly in the eyes.

"Why?" Emerson asked as he looked up at Dan.

"Because, your daddy is coming home today and it's a very big deal for us," Dan told him.

"I thought you were my daddy?" Emerson asked confused.

"Well, I am but… you have two daddies. It's very complicated and we'll explain everything to you later. You met him when you were born but that was a long time ago so you probably don't remember him. Get on the couch so I can put your shoes on?" Dan asked him calmly.

"Where we going daddy?" Emerson asked as he climbed onto the couch.

"We're going to go pick up your daddy from the train station," Dan said as he grabbed Emerson's leg gently.

"Wow. The train station!?" Emerson asked excitedly.

Dan looked up at him and chuckled when he saw the look on his face. "You promise you'll be a good boy?"

"I promise!" Emerson said as he held up his pinky.

Dan smiled. He reached over and grabbed Emerson's pinky with his own.

Unfortunately, Emerson didn't keep that promise as 10 minutes later he was already throwing a fit.

"Oh my God. Are you serious? Why on Earth did you take your shoes off Emerson?!" Dan yelled angrily. "Go sit down right now!" He demanded as he pointed at the couch. "You're in so much trouble."

"No daddy!" Emerson yelled as he shook his head.

"Do you want a spankin'?" Dan asked. He sighed as he watched Emerson storm over to the couch. Dan pulled out his phone and immediately called PJ, hoping he would be able to watch Emerson.

"Hey Dan! Have you seen Phil yet?" PJ asked when he answered his phone.

"I haven't even left the apartment yet. Emerson is being such a pain in the ass. He's just not listening to me," Dan said as he began pacing back and forth. "I just… I called because I was hoping you'd be able to come over for a bit to watch him while I go to the train station. There's no way in hell I'll be able to take him with me while he's acting like this. I know Phil wanted me to bring him but I just can't," Dan said.

"Hey, no worries. Me and Chris will come over and we'll even bring Jackson with us," PJ said.

"You are such a life saver Peej, I owe you…" Dan said. He sighed in relief.

Dan had to wait for another 10 minutes before Chris and PJ arrived with their son. Chris and PJ had adopted their own son about a year and a half ago. They spent a lot of time with Dan when Emerson when he was a baby. PJ fell in love with Emerson and wanted his own child so they finally adopted their own son; who they named Jackson.

Luckily; Jackson and Emerson got along great with each other, they were both the same age, so Dan hoped that it would calm Emerson down for when he and Phil got back. It helped a lot that PJ was great with Emerson as well.

"Thank you so much for coming over at the last minute," Dan said as he let Chris and PJ come into the apartment.

"No worries. We were growing bored anyways…" PJ told him.

Dan laughed. "Well, I'm sure you won't be bored with how Emerson's acting up," he said. He looked over at Chris, who was holding Jackson. He sighed. "Why can't Emerson by like you Jackson? Why can't you rub off on him?"

Chris looked over at Jackson and laughed. "He learns from the best," Chris said.

Dan rolled his eyes his eyes playfully. "I really have to get going now. I'm already 10 minutes late. Emerson's watching cartoons up in the lounge. I gave him a snack even though he really didn't deserve it but it was the only way to calm him down. He should be good for now," Dan told them.

"Don't worry. We've watched Emerson before. He'll be fine with us," PJ assured him.

"Thank you so freaking much!" Dan gave PJ a hug.

PJ laughed as he hugged PJ back. "Alright, go get Phil. We'll be here when you get back," he whispered.

Dan smiled as he pulled away from PJ. "I'm so nervous. Oh my God," Dan said as he walked out the door.

Chris chuckled as he watched Dan. He reached over and shut the door. "How do you think Dan's going to react when he sees Phil again?" He asked as they walked up the stairs.

"I'll bet you they'll be a lot of crying from both of them," PJ said.

"I can only imagine," Chris said. He rolled his eyes playfully. They both walked into the lounge.

"There's the little monster," PJ said jokingly when he saw Emerson sitting on the couch.

Emerson looked up and gasped when he saw Chris and PJ. "Uncle PJ!" He yelled excitedly.

Chris gently put down Jackson on the floor. "Go sit on the couch with Emers, alright?" He told Jackson.

Jackson giggled and ran over to the couch and climbed onto the couch next to Emerson.

It took Dan about 15 minutes before Dan finally got to the train station. He knew that he was already running late but he hoped that he wasn't too late. He didn't want to have to keep Phil waiting. Dan took a deep breath as he finally walked into the train station. He nervously started looking around for Phil. Dan walked closer to where the trains dropped off and that's when he saw Phil. His eyes went wide with shock as he saw Phil.

Dan hadn't seen Phil in nearly four years. Phil looked so different; he was surprised that he had recognized him.

"Phil! _Phil!_" Dan yelled as he waved in Phil's direction.

Phil immediately looked up as he got off the train and his eyes lit up as soon as he saw Dan. Phil didn't hesitate to run over to Dan. Phil pulled Dan into a hug as soon as he reached up to him.

"I missed you so fucking much, Phil" Dan whispered as he immediately hugged Phil back. He hid his face in Phil's chest as his eyes began to water up. He promised himself that he wasn't going to cry but it had been so long since he had seen Phil. At this point, he didn't care about crying in front of Phil.

"I can't believe it's been three years," Phil mumbled as he held onto Dan.

"You're never leaving again. I don't care how badly you want to do it," Dan warned. They finally pulled apart from their hug. Dan smiled as he looked up at Phil but frowned when he saw the look on his face. "Don't cry,"

"I just can't help it. I missed you and I missed being home," Phil said. He took a deep breath.

Dan wrapped his arms around Phil's neck. "You're home now and that's all that matters," he whispered.

"Would you care if I kissed you right now?" Phil asked.

"You don't have to ask me to kiss me Phil," Dan told him.

Phil pulled Dan closer to him and kissed him passionately, and he pulled away a few seconds later. "Wait a minute… isn't there someone missing?" He asked, realizing that Dan was alone.

"Well…" Dan sighed and let go of Phil. "I was going to bring him but he wasn't exactly being good this morning. You remember when I said he would be one of those quiet babies?" He asked.

"Oh no…" Phil started to say. "You jinxed him, didn't you?" He asked.

Dan laughed. "I mean, he's a real good child but… he's at that stage where he just doesn't do what he's told. He wants to do what he wants when he wants to do," he said. He rolled his eyes.

"I'm sure he'll get better once he's older," Phil said.

"I suppose so. He is only three years old now. Luckily, Chris and PJ came over with Jackson before I left so that should have calmed him down for when we get home," he assured Phil.

"Wait another minute… who is Jackson?" Phil asked curiously.

"Oh! You haven't met Jackson yet. Chris and PJ adopted!" Dan said excitedly.

"Chris and PJ adopted?" Phil asked with shock. That was the last thing that Phil expected to hear.

Dan nodded. "Yeah, like a year or so ago… Jackson is such a little cutie; you're going to absolutely love him when you meet. But first, we should get home so you can be reunited with your son. Dan bit his lip nervously as he stared at Phil. He reached up and kissed him again. They kissed for a few more seconds before they finally pulled away from each other. "Can we go home now?" Dan asked as he reached over and grabbed Phil's hand.

Phil smiled as he held onto Dan's hand. "I've been waiting to go home for a while now," he whispered.

Dan and Phil finally left the train station and then they immediately went to the apartment.

"I've missed this place," Phil said as they walked up to the apartment.

"We've missed you too," Dan said as he looked over at Phil. He smiled when Phil looked at him. He unlocked the apartment and then they finally walked in. "Welcome home," Dan whispered as he shut the door behind them.

Phil sighed in relief as he looked around. "It's really, really good to be home…" He said before he dropped the bag he was holding. He then looked over at Dan and couldn't help but smile.

"Why are you smiling at me like that?" Dan asked curiously.

"I just missed you… a lot," Phil mumbled as he blushed.

Dan also smiled. "Well, I missed you a lot too," he reached up and kissed Phil a few times. "Are you ready to see your son again?" He asked quietly. "He's a handful, just a heads up. If you thought I was bad just wait…"

"Well, I'll know who he gets it from then," Phil said jokingly.

"Jerk," Dan whined before he hit Phil playfully on the chest. "Come on," Dan grabbed Phil's hand and led the way up the stairs. He bit his lip as he looked over at Phil once they reached outside the lounge. "Ready?"

Phil slowly nodded but remained silent. He was extremely nervous. He had been waiting for this moment for quite a while now. But, he was also very excited. He just hoped that his son would remember who he was. Dan looked back at Phil one last time before they finally walked into the lounge. Dan looked up and smiled when he saw Chris and PJ cuddled up on the couch together while Emerson and Jackson were playing with their toys on the floor.

PJ looked up and immediately stood up when he saw Dan and Phil walk in.

"It's about time you came home!" PJ exclaimed. He walked over to Phil and gave him a hug.

Phil smiled as he hugged PJ back, still holding onto Dan's hand.

Chris also stood up from, smiling as he watched Phil and PJ. They finally pulled away from the hug.

"Haven't seen you in ages!" Chris said as he also gave Phil a hug.

"Aw, I missed you guys!" Phil said as he hugged Chris back, finally letting go of Dan's hand.

Dan smiled as he watched Phil catch up with the other two. "It feels so nice to be a foursome again," he said.

"Yeah…" Chris said as he pulled away from Phil. "It wasn't the same being just a threesome."

"Alright then, Emerson…" Dan said as he looked down at Emerson.

Emerson immediately looked up and blinked a few times when he saw Dan. He looked over at Phil but he didn't say anything. He just looked back at Phil. "Come over here for a second," Dan said gently. He bit his lip nervously as he watched Emerson stand up from the floor and then walk over to him. Dan carefully bent down so that he could see his Emerson's face properly. Dan sighed, "you know early when I told you that you had two daddies?" He smiled when Emerson nodded. "It's been you and me for a while now but not anymore."

"Are you my other daddy?" Emerson asked as he looked up at Phil.

Phil blinked a few times as he stared at Emerson. This was his first time meeting him since he was born and it was the first time that he had ever heard his son speak. "Uh, I… well… yeah, I-I am…" Phil said nervously. He was definitely a little shocked when Emerson ran over to him and hugged him. That was not the reaction he thought he would get from Emerson. He thought Emerson would be scared of him.

Dan smiled as he watched Phil bend down to hug Emerson back. "That's not what I was expecting…" He stood up.

"Well…" PJ began to say. He watched as Phil picked Emerson up. "Obviously you guys have a lot to catch up. We'll leave you to it." He said. He looked over at Jackson. "Jackson, come on."

Jackson stood up and then he ran over to PJ. PJ bent down and then he picked him up. "It was really nice seeing you again, Phil. We'll call later and hang out or something. Now that I actually live in London."

"You live in London now?" Phil asked with shock.

"It took two years but year," PJ said. He laughed.

"Like Peej said, we'll call later and set up a day to hang out. We have a lot to catch up on," Chris said.

"Apparently," Phil said. "See you later guys. Oh! Thanks for looking out for Dan while I was gone…"

"I have no idea how you put up with him. He's a handful," PJ said. He looked over at Dan and smirked.

"Hey!" Dan whined as he crossed his arms against his chest.

"We'll see you guys later," PJ said. He gave Phil one last smile before he and Chris finally walked out of the lounge.

"So, have you had anything to eat yet? We can make some lunch," Dan said.

"Our first meal as a family?" Phil asked, smiling as he looked at Emerson.

Dan sighed happily. "It's so good to have you home again," he whispered.

"It's really good to be home. Trust me," Phil said. He took a deep breath.

The day passed since Phil had come back home. Phil has been spending most of his time relaxing and spending quality family time with Dan and Emerson. Things were finally how they should be and Phil couldn't be happier to be home. He had missed Dan a lot while he was away and he was so happy to be reunited with Emerson again. He was so worried that Emerson wouldn't like him as a father, as he missed three years of his life. But, luckily… Phil worried for nothing because Emerson seemed to love him. Dan had told him how he always showed Emerson pictures and his Youtube videos, which Phil thought was completely adorable.

"If you go to bed now then maybe tomorrow, if you're good… we'll go out and get some ice-cream," Dan said as put Emerson in bed. It was around 10 o'clock at night. Dan knew that it was going to be difficult to get Emerson to sleep. "You've already stayed up later than usual. You shouldn't be thankful that I let you stay up two hours more than usual. Most three year olds don't get to stay up this late."

"But, I want to stay up with you and daddy!" Emerson whined.

"Daddy will be here tomorrow," Dan immediately turned and looked over at Phil, who was standing in the doorway, watching Dan and Emerson. "You will be here tomorrow… right?" He asked.

"Of course. I'm not going anywhere anytime soon," Phil said. He walked over to Dan.

Dan smiled as he stared up at Phil. "See?" He said as he looked over at Emerson.

Emerson pouted and then he sunk down into his bed.

"Thank you," Dan said. He sighed in relief. He grabbed Emerson's blanket and gently covered Emerson up.

"Goodnight daddy," Emerson said. He looked up at Phil and smiled.

Phil chuckled. "Goodnight Emerson," he said, smiling as he stared at Emerson.

"We really need to work out a system. Calling us both daddy will get confusing," Dan said. He leaned down and kissed Emerson's forehead. "You know where to find us if anything happens."

Emerson nodded. He grabbed one of his stuffed animals and snuggled into his blanket.

Dan smiled and then he stood up from Emerson's bed. He grabbed Phil's hand and then they both walked over to the door. Dan shut the light off before they finally walked out of the room, Dan shutting the door behind him.

"As much as I loved having some quality family time with you and Emerson… but it's about damn time that I get you to myself," Dan said. He looked over at Phil and smiled.

"That's totally fine with me," Phil said. He smiled as Dan dragged him back to the bedroom.

"You have so much to tell me about what happened while you were in the army," Dan said as they walked into their bedroom. Dan reached over and shut the door. He looked over at Phil and bit his lip.

"We're gonna be here a while if you want to know everything," Phil told him.

"Well, now we all the time in the world so you can tell me everything," Dan said. He walked over to Phil and wrapped his arms around his neck. He reached up and kissed him. They stood there for a few seconds, just kissing before Dan finally pulled away. He grabbed Phil's hand and then they got on the bed.

Dan and Phil must have sat there for hours, Dan just listening to all the stories Phil told him about being in the army. Dan was amazed about everything that Phil was telling him. He was proud of Phil for going through all that.

It was around 4 o'clock in the morning by now. Neither Dan nor Phil were tired so they stayed up.

"I know I shouldn't ask this, because I trust you with my heart… but, did you happen see anyone else? While I was gone?" Phil asked as he looked up at Dan nervously. "I-I'm just curious…"

"After I had Emerson, I didn't have time for dating. I'm not gonna lie… there were multiple times where I thought about having someone babysit Emerson so I could go out but I was too scared to. I knew that I shouldn't so I just stayed home," Dan explained. He took a deep breath and looked up at Phil. "What about you?" He asked. He frowned when Phil didn't say anything. Phil didn't even look at him. "Ph-Phil?" Dan asked nervously.

"Th-There was this one guy… he was in my group for most of the time," Phil said.

"And you dated him?" Dan asked, trying his best not to cry in front of Phil.

"No!" Phil quickly looked up at Dan. "It was just a one-night stand. It got lonely there sometimes…"

"Well, I got fucking lonely too but I never cheated on you!" Dan yelled.

"Dan…" Phil said with shock. He took a deep breath.

"But, I guess I don't blame you. I'm just a little upset," Dan mumbled.

"Dan, it's not like I'm ever gonna see him again. I don't even think he lives in the UK," Phil said.

"I guess that makes me feel a little better," Dan said. He sighed.

"I really am sorry. You just had a right to know," Phil said quietly.

"Don't apologize for anything. You went through a lot more shit than I did," Dan said. He crawled over to Phil. "But, no one else can have you because you're mine and only mine." He warned.

"I'm okay with that," Phil whispered. He pulled Dan closer to him. "Do you mind if I kiss you right now?"

"Why do you keep asking if you can kiss me? You can kiss me whenever you want," Dan told him.

"I guess that's what being in the army does to you," Phil said. He pulled Dan even closer and kissed him.

Dan gently pushed Phil on his back as they kissed. He straddled Phil and then he grabbed Phil's hands and pinned them against the bed. He finally pulled away from the kiss and took a deep breath as he stared at Phil.

"I really missed having you home," Dan whined, pouting a little.

Phil laughed. "Well, I'm here now aren't I?" He asked.

"Yes, and you're stuck here whether you like it or not," Dan said. He couldn't help but smile.

"You know I'd be happy stuck here anyways," Phil said.

Dan giggled and then he let go of Phil's hands and slid off of him. "I know you just got back but we should definitely make a video. Everybody's been missing you like crazy," he said.

"Really?" Phil said as he pushed himself up in sitting position.

"Yeah. Your channel hasn't been uploaded in four years," Dan said.

"I just didn't think I would be missed that much," Phil said. He shrugged his shoulders.

"Of course you were missed! Everybody missed you. Your family, friends, other youtubers and your subscribers missed you. I missed you most of all. Even though Emerson didn't really know you I know he missed you. It wasn't the same the day after you left again. The house just felt so empty which is why I'm glad you're back," Dan mumbled. He took a deep breath as he looked down at his hands.

"Dan, hey… look at me," Phil told him.

Dan nervously looked up at him but remained silent.

"I was gone for a while but I promise you… I'm not going anywhere. I'm staying right here," Phil said.

"You promised?" Dan asked quietly as his eyes began to water up.

"I promise. I'm staying here with my family, where I belong," Phil said.

Dan couldn't help but smile. "I missed you so much," he whispered. He flung his arms around Phil and hugged him.

Phil let out a laugh as he immediately hugged Dan back. He gently wrapped his arms around Dan and pulled him closer. "I missed you too," he whispered as he closed his eyes. They hugged for a few seconds before Dan pulled away. He whipped away a tear that slipped out of his eyes. "I think we should get to bed. It's past 4 a.m.…"

"Shit, is it really? I haven't stayed up this late in months," Dan said.

"Really? You used to stay up late all the time," Phil said.

"Things change once you have a kid," Dan said. He looked up at Phil and smiled.

"We better get to bed now then," Phil said. He chuckled.

Dan and Phil finally changed clothes and then they crawled back into bed.

"I love you," Dan said as he snuggled into Phil.

"I love you too, so very much…" Phil whispered as he held onto Dan. He reached over and turned off the lights.

It was actually weird for Phil to be home again, after being away for four years, but he couldn't be happier.


End file.
